NO NURSING HOME FOR ME!!

  • The only person, who is with us our entire life, is OURSELVES.....
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  •                   NO  NURSING HOME FOR ME!!!
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  •        No  nursing home for us. We'll be checking into a  Holiday Inn!
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  • With the average cost for a  nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a  better way when we get old and too feeble.  I've  already checked on reservations at the Holiday  Inn.
  • For  a combined long term stay discount and senior  discount, it's $59.23 per  night.
  • Breakfast  is included, and some have happy hours in the  afternoon.
  • That  leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any  restaurant we want, or room service, laundry,  gratuities and special TV  movies.
  • Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.
  • Most  have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free  shampoo and soap.
  • $5  worth of tips a day you'll have the entire staff
  • scrambling to help you.
  • They treat you like a customer, not a  patient.
  • There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride  free.
  • The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a  decent limp).
  • To meet other nice people, call a church bus on  Sundays.
  • For  a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus  and eat at one of the nice restaurants  there.
  • While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the  cash keeps building up.
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  • It takes months to get into decent  nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your  reservation today.
  • And  you're not stuck in one place forever -- you can  move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to  city.
  • Want  to see Hawaii ? They have Holiday Inn there  too.
  • TV  broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress  replaced? No problem.. They fix everything, and  apologize for the  inconvenience.
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  • The Inn has a night security person and daily room  service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If  not, they'll call an ambulance . . . or the  undertaker.
  • If  you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the  hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for  the rest of your life.
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  • And no worries about visits from family. They will  always be glad to find you, and probably check in  for a few days  mini-vacation.
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  • The  grandkids can use the pool.
  • What more could I ask for?
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  • So, when I reach that golden age,  I'll face it with a grin.
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  • AIDS  WARNING!
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  • To  all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and  past, this is especially for  you......

 

SENIOR  CITIZENS

ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS  OF AIDS!

 

HEARING AIDS

 

BAND AIDS

 

ROLL AIDS

 

WALKING AIDS

 

MEDICAL AIDS

 

GOVERNMENT AIDS

 

MOST OF ALL,

 

MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!

 

Not forgetting  HIV

(Hair  is Vanishing)